Ursula Rucker
Hey, my name is not
Protocol
And I ain't nobody's stigma or statistic
Hey, hey lady, you know who you are.
You think you helpin' me by insertin' me into the system.
You think you know me.
Just another little black boy needs savin'
Well, my mama loves me, I'll have you know
You don't love me
You don't even know me
You don't know my black life
My parents black love
Black struggle
My black history
My black community
My mama said slavery is alive and well
I didn't believe her, but she was right
Cause you ain't nothin' but the plantation mistress,
wearing America's corset pulled way too tight,
two sizes too small
Master's slave, same as us,
just privileged and frigid
Lookin' down on me from your cold bedroom window,
watchin' master walk to my mama's door
Resentful YOU
Hateful YOU
Hating me under the guises of helping me
Do-gooder YOU
YOU BITCH, YOU
I call you out of your name
I call you out of your name
No, this is not just
another poem about children
Or
Just another poem
It is a prayer
A plea
A lament
A dirge, if you will
A dirge in the spirit of Margaret Walkers' "For My People"
But, this is for my children
This is for our children
Some ones take Monday
afternoon walks with mamas steppin' only in shadowless spaces on pavements
Happy
Loved
Some ones step into shadowed spaces to hide
From mamas who are fiending
Mama's boyfriends who are creamin' in their pants for little girls kisses
Little boys' hands to hold
Endangered, so unloved
Some ones sleep soundly in mini-van car seats
Sunlight streaming on little baby faces…warm
Visions of mommy milk floating in their little baby brains
And then some ones have to put up with us
Cussin' and tusslin' about some dumb stuff
Burdening their little ears and eyes with our mistakes, our sins
Weighting their little hearts heavy with worry
Snuffing out their light, their innocence, way too soon
Suffer the children
Suffer our hopes
and our future
Two missing girls
found slain in Zion
Buried in the backyard of a trailer park in Florida
Limp in a basement of an abandoned building in North Philly
Little legs and arms and big child dreams
Stuffed into a drain pipe on the roof of a tenement, somewhere in this
crazy place
Miseducated in a classroom with no room for art…or the truth
What we gonna do?
Keep idly watchin' the news as some ones
So many sons and daughters get driveby'd
Video-ho'd
Pedifiled
Mainstreamed
Short-changed
Murdered
Molested
Misunderstood, misunderstood
Face all up on the news
Kid meal of the minute for media mass consumption
And we cry
And hmm…hmm…hmmm
And "did you hear about…"
And lick our fingers
And we don't leave nothing for the worms
Not gristle or bone or nothing
And them we digest em
Shit em out
And forget em
Until the next hottest tragedy du jour
What we gonna go?
Hug em, love em when they feel numb
Protect but not shelter them
Encourage
Uplift
Hear them
Give them options
Please, give them options
Celebrate them
Be tough when necessary
What we gonna do?
You better get out there and go pull your sweet little 12-year old up
off her knees
Tell her she don't have to suck no boy's dick to keep him
Fuck that
What we gonna do indeed
Whatever we gotta
Whatever we gotta
To be continued……..
My skin I brown
My hair is platinum blonde, today
Burgundy tomorrow
My nails is long
I know no sorrow, cause
Ain't nothing I care to know, but…
where my check so I can get my tix for the Jay-Z show
And
I do aspire to be a video-ho do
and I know
Pop-eye got shot last night
But
that's how it go, in da ghetto
in da ghetto
What do they call me?
Read the tattoo on the left breast
My name is…Lexxus
yeah girl
my name is…Lexxus
get it right
My skin was young,
so young
It burned and tore
My hair was pressed and curled
and tied with ribbons that Sunday morn
September 15, 1963
I screamed
In the basement of the church, I screamed
The last day I would ever see
Ma and Pa would never know the woman I would grow up to be
I was an involuntary offering for humanity
Why did they hate me?
Why dey hate me, so, so, sooo
What did they call me?
Four Little Girls
Four Little Girls
My skin is tough
This woman
This
Lunch and home, mistake and love maker
double shift worker
sometimes warrior, sometimes weak
This wife
This single soldier
God-given, God fearing, God doubting
This, bearer of wisdom and fruit and pain
This
once girl…sometimes still
saint, sinner, teacher, multi-tasker, friend, this everyday wonder
This…woman
This…nation-builder
This…raiser of leaders, of losers, of babies, of boys who will become
men
Girls who will become women
This…woman
Some call me mama
Hey mama
Hey mama
Hey mama
My eyes are a rainbow
I reflect the spectrum
I have seen much
My heart weighs heavy
Even with joy I feel so much
My hair is electric
I am ablaze, I am the source
I can feed you or starve you
Breath life into you or bleed you
I can fuck you or love you
I don't care how they call me
I know who I is
Call me…
crazy, divine, Ma'at, true honeybun, Supreme Pontifica, electric lady,
holy prostitute
I don't care what you call me
I know who I is
I know who I is
I know who I is
I know who I is
I is…
Mammy, mulatto, welfare mom
Matriarch, mid-wife
I IS
(ursula)White cloud
rivers ran through me
I felt them pass through my bones
Through liver and lung
And stomach
Washed me into the big white cloud lake
And I floated
No knowledge of swimming
But I floated
Right between fear and mountains
Just beneath blues and birds
Right next to the sun
And God
Even in the middle of wind
Even in the middle of wind
Humbled
(sonia)I am reciting
the rain caught in my spleen
These lips can not swim
Only my breast wild as black waves
I met the collector of rain once who went to sleep in my sleeve
Is his alibi still under my arm?
I keep coughing up butterflies
My entrails trail albinos' tunes
his voice cums in my hair
Is the flesh tender
where the knees weep?
Is the flesh tender where the knees weep?
Is the flesh tender where the knees weeeep?
Beneath blues and birds
Caught in my scream
Right between fear and mountains
Only my breast wild as black waves
Washed me into the big white cloud lake
I keep coughing up butterflies
Right next to the sun
I met a collector of rain once
humbled
humbled
humbled
humbled
humbled
humbled
